My First Time – 100 Word Flash Fiction

 

It was twelve years ago at my first Gathering. There were thousands on the beach, their surf-specked bodies undulating in the twilight. I was nervous, self-conscious, until I saw her. She beckoned to me. No words were spoken; we simply lay beside each-other, thrusting into each-other, feeling the bodies of our compatriots thrusting into us, our minds and bodies converging.

Then suddenly an intense light shone down from above, freezing us in sharp clarity. Behind it a shape, deep black and tall as a mountain, shifted ponderously. Then she was snatched up into the sky.

I never saw her again.

Creative Commons Licence
My First Time by Jake Kale is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Advertisements

30 thoughts on “My First Time – 100 Word Flash Fiction

  1. So this is my entry for the Friday Fictioneers 100 word Flash Fiction challenge. Hope it passes muster. The idea for this has been knocking around in my head for ages, and was originally planned to be a longer story. But I think at exactly 100 words this sums up what I was going for. I’m just not sure that is. To find out more about the Friday Fictioneers and to check out other entries go here:

    http://madisonwoods.wordpress.com/flash-fiction/first-contact/

    and here:

    http://susielindau.com/2012/01/27/just-another-day-100-word-flash-fiction/#comment-2801

    And for any of my few old school readers who have found their way back here, the Cranford stories are on hiatus for the moment until I figure out what I want to do with them.

    • Thanks! It might interest you and other readers to know that this is sort-of kind-of inspired by a real-life phenomenon. It’s nothing shady, I hasten to add. Depending on your species anyway. If anyone guesses what it is I’ll be very impressed!

      I’ve just been to your site. Excellent entry, a with a nice little twist which I won’t give away. And it stuck to the rules by using the actual picture prompt.

      DISCLAIMER: I didn’t because I didn’t know there was one. By the time I found out I’d already written this, so I decided to do my own picture. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!

  2. @Yatin and eliserae

    Thanks guys, much appreciated! I should point out it’s not exactly a family reunion (at least I hope not, but I suppose you never know), and has nothing to do with the original photo prompt, which I missed completely. Not sure how I did that, but I did. I take absentmindedness to the next level too!

    • Good guess, but not quite. You’re not a million miles off with sea creatures though. If no-one guesses I’ll reveal the answer in my next entry.

      Thanks, I’ve really enjoyed myself! It felt great to start writing again, and to read so many different takes on the proper picture. I haven’t decided yet whether I’ll use the next “official” photo prompt or another of my own, since it was fun to stretch my artistic muscles to, but I’ll certainly take part again.

      PS: Other readers, if you haven’t yet, check out Susan’s entry:
      http://www.susanwenzel.com/2012/01/flash-fiction-friday-8.html

  3. Nice work, Jake! Glad to have you in the band! 🙂

    More than the woman who disappeared, I’m more interested in learning more about the Gathering! I’m imagining something sinister, but my mind naturally goes there anyway!

    • Thanks for the welcome, it’s been fun so far! Since I doubt anyone’s gonna get it I may as well come out and say the Gathering is inspired by the mass spawning of Horseshoe crabs. I saw a documentary a couple of years ago that followed scientists studying one of these spawnings, walking up and down the beach, flashlights in hand, plucking unfortunate crabs mid coitus, if that’s the right expression. Naturally, I had to wonder what the crabs thought about this. The protagonist of this story is not a Horseshoe crab, although I don’t think he or his mate are human as would understand them either. I mentioned earlier that this was originally planned to be longer and more detailed, so I do have a vague backstory for it in mind. Maybe one day I’ll explore it in more detail.

      Again, other readers, feel free to visit John’s site for his entry. It’s much less perverse, but well worth a read!
      http://jhardyb.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/100-word-fridayfictioneers-8/

    • You know, that might explain one or two things – let’s face it, this guy’s account is a tad sketchy. On a less flippant note, that’s a new one on me, but it sounds like fun. If only I didn’t have this chronic fear of air travel.

      On a slightly more flippant note, yes, I’m back baby! And as long as I keep up this Friday Fiction lark I might actually update this place regularly as well. Nice to here from you again! I’ll get back to visiting Blackwatertown real soon.

    • Thanks very much, the welcome is much appreciated. I’ve actually not heard of grunions before, I was inspired by Horseshoe crabs. However, grunions are probably a better analogue. You’re right, we’re bound to get what’s coming to us eventually. I just hope we survive it and learn from it.

      PS: It’s Jake by the way! Don’t worry about it, I’ve been called worse!

  4. My first thought was of walruses gathering at mating season. But the light snatching her up gave me an entirely different perspective. Very interesting mood-setting piece, and it reminded me of something on the Lovecraftian edge, or could with a few more words, anyway. Great story! Thanks for joining us and I hope to see you again next week!

    • Interesting you should say that, I am Lovecraft fan, so maybe some of that bled into this work here. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done that!

      And I will definitely be back next week, I’ve had too much fun not to!

  5. Thanks very much guys, your comments are much appreciated. To think, I was a little nervous about posting this to begin with. All the positive feedback has been very encouraging!

    • Sea lions, walruses and grunions (which I’d never heard of before) all make better analogues for the beings in the story than Horseshoe crabs. I think at this point I’m just gonna rule out anything arthropod-like. It’s probably for the best. They’re too unyielding to romanticize.

      Thank you very much for the thoughtful feedback. I’m just sorry I’m unable to respond with anything but silly quips!

      Check out Wakefield’s much more humorous entry here.
      http://www.wakefieldmahon.com/1/post/2012/01/the-eyes-of-a-child.html

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s